I can text with my tongue
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
