Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
