it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
