last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
