Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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