Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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