I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
