Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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