Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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