I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
