you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
