so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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