I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
