I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
