pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
