So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
