are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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