honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
