My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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