I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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