I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
