Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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