Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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