Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
