we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We are two peas in an std pod
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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