Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Sorry about my life...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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