belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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