Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
