Need sex. Gaining weight.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
