So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
