so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
