wrigley field is MILF paradise
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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