It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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