I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
