i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
