I must be too annoying 4 u.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
