I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
