its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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