Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
