Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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