dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
