I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
And then my night got REAL pukey
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
