Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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