I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just forgot I was standing up.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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