I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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