You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
