so explain again why im purple
no
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
