GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
