You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
