Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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