Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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